Focus on the positive

Well I decided that I am going to focus on the positive and not the negative. I have just discovered all the comments left to me by my good friends Heather and Tara and I first want to thank God for having such good friends to support me and encourage me and next I want to thank them for the support and encouragement. I am spending this month getting myself back together. I still am experiencing some of the physical symptoms of the anxiety..like my eyes are wacky and my back hurts and I tingle BUT it is getting better and that is what matters. The medication seems to be working but it seems to be making Owen gassier then ever..so I may talk to them about that at my month visit, maybe there is something else that would not have that side effect on him. I know he doesn't get much of it but what he is getting is causing him to keep me up all night farting...lol...which by the way he finds very funny now because I tell him how wonderful it is!!! More positives in my life..my mom and mother in law have been wonderful in helping me out. Wes is a dream..except when I make him get up with Owen in the middle of the night (LOL). My friend Stacy has been keeping close tabs on me. And soon I am going to start therapy with Kathy Blum here in Elkhart. I only get six free session (courtesy of work) but maybe that is all I will need. I have a beautiful house, car and dog. I have another great friend Karen who is going to go to school to become a chiropractor..AWESOME!!! Free adjustments when I go to visit her (which I feel so bad for letting her down, we were suppose to go see her last weekend but I was not able to), But Karen if you read this we will come see you before summer is over. I am going to start going to church and I am highly considering taking Heather up on her offer to go to her church..it sounds fun and it is always nice to know someone. We are going to start going July 1st with Tara and Darin..I am also thankful that I have a job that has been so understanding with me and that I only work a normal four days a week..(more than likely not that many when I first go back again). I am thankful for the cup of coffee that I am drinking this morning and being able to type this because Owen is sleeping in the bed with his daddy right now. I am honestly thankful for the boob..cuz it is so nice to be able to feed my kid anywhere at anytime..LOL!!! I am thankful for Star my deep tissue massage therapist at Preventative Medicine in Mishawaka IN, she is tougher than nails but is helping me relax. I am thankful for Moe my chiropractor for about 10 years now..and his advise to me yesterday to CALM DOWN and tell myself that my mind is playing tricks on me and to realize it and not allow it to happen..plus he gave me a number to go do some TIA CHI..I am thankful for all my family and friends. I love life and I never knew something could get me down like this did. I do not want to allow this negative in my life..that is what Satan wants and I refuse to give in to him. When a negative thought comes to mind I am going to replace it with something that I mentioned here. I am going to speak out loud right now to the universe that I will prevail and I will not succumb to this negative energy that has taken over me..it is not healthy for me or my beautiful son. I must remember that MOMMIEHOOD ROCKS!!!!!

Now Owen is being so cute. He squeals now really loud...he pouts and whines and he gives me great big kisses. We are going to take him to get his three month pictures today. I can not wait. We are taking him to the Jazz Festive on Sunday. I think he will like it a lot. Wes plays the guitar for him everyday...so he likes music a lot. He loves it when I sing to him..it cracks him up. Another cute thing he does his prop his little leg up on things. If he is in the swing he will prop his leg up on the middle nob thing..or when I am feeding him he will use my legs to prop up his legs it is so funny.

Well that is all for now..will write more about the pictures..it should be fun..