I called the midwives to verify the medication that I am taking is ok for Owen when I am breast feeding. They told me they wanted to see me in there office. So I went in Thursday feeling tense and stressed. They had me fill out a questioniare about how I was feeling. Then Kristin came in and told me that there is no way I was to return to work for at least a month. She was very concerned about my stability right now. She wrote a note and set up an appointment for me to go and see her in a month. She said that once I return to work I need to do it slowly..to help myself ease back into it. She also said that the medication may not start to work for about a month.
I was so nervous to talk to Steve and Sue (my managers at work) about it. But they were both wonderful and very supportive. Sue also said that I should slowly work my self back into work and not just jump right back in. I think that would be a good idea. I love to work. It makes me feel a little worse that I am having these problems and that I cant handle it all right now. I have always been one to handle things pretty well..at least well enough not to get myself sick over it. I tell you what...I have a lot more compassion for people now. Maybe this is a lesson from above to teach me that I need to be more compassionate towards others needs. Especially since everyone has been so kind to me.
Owen is doing great through all of this. He is a little trooper. The midwife also told me that I need to exercise three times a week for 45 min. So Tara and I are going to start walking to Oxbow from her house and then around Oxbow with the kids. I think that will help a lot. Plus I think I should start swimming now that Wes is going to be working on days and he can watch the little guy for me.
I love having Owen more than anything in the world and he is more than worth everything that is happening to me..but boy what a surprise all this is. I did not know it would be so hard on me. Luckily, I am blessed with a working husband that is confused about all this but supportive too. It would be so hard to be a single mom and not be able to get yourself right. Yeah money may be a little tight for now, but we will make it through.
I think this weekend I am going to start going to church too, with Owen. I think I am lacking serious spirituality in my life and having that faith really can help your mood.
Well better get the baby..